Congruence is often something that is socialized out of us starting in middle school (or sooner), and definitely in grad school. So it’s wonderful to know that practicing it makes us better at what we do, and make our client’s outcomes much more achievable. It’s an invitation, permission, to show up more fully as our selves as it relates to and serves the client.

Here’s a great explanation of the concept:

“It has been found that personal change is facilitated when the psychotherapist is what they are, when in the relationship with their client they are genuine and without “front” or facade, openly being the feelings and attitudes which at that moment are flowing in them. We have coined the term “congruence” to try to describe this condition. By this we mean that the feelings the therapist is experiencing are available to them, available to their awareness, and they are able to live these feelings, be them, and be able to communicate them if appropriate. No one fully achieves this condition, yet the more the therapist is able to listen acceptantly to what is going on within themselves, and the more they are able to be the complexity of their feelings, without fear, the higher the degree of their congruence.”

-Carl Rogers, in Becoming A Person. {Note: quote changed to update gender references.}

See our discussions on this from 2021 and 2020. Looking forward to seeing you all soon!