One tool I’ve found to be so helpful over and over is self-compassion; showing up for myself with kindness.
How do we know if we’re on the right track with our clients?
How do we know if our clients feel safe with us?
How do we know if our client is dissatisfied with services?
What I want to know is: what do you tell yourself in order to foster unconditional positive regard towards your clients? Here are a few things I tell myself:
Therapeutic alliance accounts for 7.5% of the variability in outcomes, coming in third after goal consensus and empathy. However, I’d argue that goal consensus and empathy are part of the therapeutic relationship. So if you remember anything, remember that what matters most is the relationship.
When has someone shown you great empathy? Was it mixed with compassion, or separate?
When do you most feel safe and connected in your interactions with clients?
What are your goals for your clients? What do you hope they get out of working with you? Which direction do you hope they move in? How do you hope they experience your sessions together?
Here’s what I want for you. I want you to see yourself as an appreciative ally, a co-conspirator, a fellow traveler and all the other roles we take, yes…but I also want you to see yourself as a leader. And in particular, the leader in any clinical interactions you have.
Something to keep in mind as we go about assessing, diagnosing, and treatment planning, is the importance of adapting our work to our client’s culture and identity. Irvin Yalom believed we should create a new treatment for every single client, and I kind of agree.