March 2025 Clinical Supervision Topic: Therapeutic Alliance
See previous years here.
This year we’re talking about therapeutic alliance, and I can’t help but think about all the reading I’ve been doing on secure attachments and attachment theory. I’m reading this book and this one, and just finished this one (and I’m watching this, so good!).
Together, these resources emphasize how we’re always seeing social situations through our refracted attachment lens.
How do these relate to therapeutic alliance? A few thoughts on that. Our clients see us through their attachment lens. And we see them through ours. If we know what secure attachment looks and feels like, then we’ll know when we’re accessing it within our sessions. This is really important to establishing a therapeutic alliance.
A few things that cue secure attachment (that you can do as a therapist)
consistency: in mood, mannerisms, showing up on time, and in modality
predictability: setting clear expectations for session structure, boundaries, and availability
attunement: tracking your client’s emotional state, responding with warmth, and adjusting your approach based on their needs
transparency: explaining your interventions and thought processes, so clients feel included rather than analyzed
responsiveness: acknowledging and validating emotions in real time, making space for repair when needed
warmth: bringing an authentic, compassionate presence to sessions, so clients feel safe enough to explore vulnerable topics
When these elements are present, clients are more likely to feel understood, valued, and connected. And connection is the foundation of a strong therapeutic alliance (as you know).
Of course, we’re human too, which means we’re also bringing our own attachment histories into the therapy room. It’s helpful to notice when our own attachment lens is shaping our responses: are we feeling pulled to over-reassure, to fix, to withdraw? Noticing these moments allows us to regulate ourselves, rather than letting old patterns run the show.
Secure attachment isn’t about perfection; it’s also about repair. If we misattune, rupture can happen, but repair is always possible. In fact, modeling healthy repair—acknowledging a moment of misattunement, checking in, and reconnecting—can be one of the most powerful ways to strengthen the therapeutic alliance.
So as we think about therapeutic alliance this year, I’m holding onto this: Our clients’ attachment histories shape how they see us, and ours shape how we see them. But the beauty of therapy is that we can create a space where secure attachment can be felt, learned, and practiced.
And that, in itself, is healing.
PS: Want a deliberate practice to go with this month’s topic? This one is a bit advanced, but it’s a good one!
